It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared because
you barely know where you are now. You start realizing
that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't
exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones.
What you don't recognize is that they are realizing
that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job ... and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more
than usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then
the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest
force of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and
cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
past is drifting further and further away, and there
is nothing to do but stay where you are or move
forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in
bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent
enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you
love someone but love someone else too and cannot
figure out why you are doing this because you know that
you aren't a bad person.
You suddenly feel unhappy with life and the lifestyle that may have provided you with happiness for many years.
You feel bored with people and things that may have been of interest to you before.
You suddenly feel a need for adventure and change.
You suddenly desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.
You get so confused about who you are and where you are going.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends
about the same topics because you cannot seem
to make a decision.
You worry about money, the future and
making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would
be great, right now you'd just like to be a
contender!
We are in our best of times and our
worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure
this whole thing out.
Prelude to a Parting
By Vincent Coscolluela
(Sunday Inquirer Magazine, 10.19.2003)
I would like to walk with you
all over again, through all the tree-filled places
we knew, the ground that once knew us,
and sit on the rock that was ours.
I would like us to see again
a clear sky that never seemed so clear, to feel
the way leaves feel when they fall. A moment so long,
everything can be said in two words, or three.
All I want is a perfect day
so I can leave you without leaving you behind,
where promises, like photographs,
would keep the distance close.
So trees would sway to a remembered wind.
I would like to leave you a world
so slow, time’s voice would be that of the infinite
silence of stone. A place where our walk ends
where we began. Where falling leaves never fall at all.
DAR`LINKS
*xanga people*
anna
cara
chard
dianne
eimeeh
eireen
glecy
greg
johun
julia
kat
mai
mairene
*bloggers*
kat
maruel
*linkies*
wangbu
mac
urban decay
brushes
BREAK THE SILENCE
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